How to Create a Self-Care Routine That You Can Handle (Even When You’re Exhausted)

Some days it takes my ALL just to exist. I’m tired, my head’s all over the place, and the idea of doing anything remotely “nurturing” sounds cute... in theory.

But, like any other thing that’s worth doing, I believe that a good self-care routine shouldn’t feel like another item on your to-do list. It should help you function at max capacity.

If you’ve ever Googled “easy self-care tips” and immediately closed the tab because the list included “buy fresh flowers” and “book a luxury weekend getaway,” I don’t blame you!

Here’s how to create a self-care routine that fits real life, including the pajama-staying, Hallmark movie-bingeing kind of days.

Before we get into routines, let’s go over what I think self-care is. Because it’s not always spa days.

Self-care means anything you do on purpose to take care of your body, brain, or emotions.

That could be brushing your teeth before bed (yup, that counts) or texting a friend to vent. It’s doing more of what works for you, and not what the latest influencer says you need to do.

Ask yourself these kinds of basic questions.

• Does this help me recharge?

• Does this make life feel a little less chaotic?

• Am I doing this because I need it, not because it looks cute on Pinterest?

If the answer is YES, then you’re already on the right track.

First things first, let’s stop pretending you need an hour every morning and $200 worth of products to feel like a functioning human. A good self-care routine can be simple, flexible, and still make a huge impact.

Trying to overhaul your entire life in one go? That’s a fast-track to burnout.

Instead, pick one (and only one) area to focus on:

• Physical (hydration, food, movement, sleep)

• Mental (journaling, reading, creative stuff)

• Emotional (venting, processing, reconnecting)

• Spiritual (being still, reflection, whatever feels right)

Choose the one that feels the most off right now and start there.

Now don't freak out! KISS stands for Keep It Simple Silly. Self-care routines don’t have to be over-the-top.

In fact, I find that the more complicated they are, the more likely I’ll bail by day 3. Super simple and doable.

• Morning: Drink a full glass of water before your morning shower.

• Midday: Step outside for five minutes.

• Evening: Write down three things you handled today. If three is too much, I give you permission to knock it down to one.

That’s it! No Amazon purchases required.

Want to make a habit stick? Attach it to something you already do without thinking.

• Do a quick stretch while your kettle is boiling.

• Deep breathe when you wash your face.

• Put your phone across the room when you plug it in at night.

Notice how these aren’t really adding effort? You’re merely redirecting a bit of your focus.

Not everyone is a morning person. If you’re dragging yourself out of bed and already thinking about your to-do list, here are a few ways to ground yourself before the day unfolds.

You’re dehydrated when you wake up. Water before coffee = fewer headaches, better oomph.

2. Don’t Touch Your Phone

Even five minutes without scrolling gives your mind the ability to wake up before the world floods in. Imagine going for a whole hour? That’s like superhero capabilities!

3. Light Movement

Think gentle stretching, a slow walk, or even laying on the floor and rotating your ankles. Not everyone has the strength to run a marathon.

4. Mental Clear-Out

Jot a few thoughts in a journal or scribble a “catch-all” list. Get the noise out so you can think straight.

You know that 2pm feeling where you suddenly can’t stand your boss and you’re ready to storm out of the office? Yep, that’s your cue.

Try This Midday Self-Care Checklist…

• Eat something with protein (chips don’t count as a balanced lunch, sorry)

• Get up and stretch for two minutes

• Open a window or go outside for a sec

• Unclench your jaw, roll your shoulders

• Name three things going right. Again, if three is too many, then pick one.

Evening routines get a lot of hype, but they’re more so for when your day’s been rough. You need something that signals, “Hey, it’s ok to relax now.”

Now it’s time for a candle! If you’re a candle person, light a candle and put on soft music. If this is still too much, then keep is really simple like putting your shoes away and putting on a pair of socks. That little act tells your brain that it’s time to wind down.

2. Do a Low-Energy Wind Down

Pick something that feels good and requires very little effort.

• Warm shower or bath

• Light reading (nothing too dramatic)

• Journaling (keep it to a few words!)

3. Prepare Tomorrow You

Lay out your clothes, make a list, plug in your devices. If possible, try and do this earlier in the evening instead of right before bed. That way when it’s time for bed you know you have even less to do and you can focus on getting some quality rest.

Evening self-care routines are about telling your nervous system it’s okay to stop performing.

Then you need a self-care routine for the barely-functioning version of you. And yes, that version still deserves care.

Here’s a stripped-down version that still all about you.

• Drink water

• Eat real food

• Rest (even if it’s 10 minutes with your eyes closed)

• Say no to something

• Ask for help

I’m so glad you asked! Some of these things don’t need to be done every single day. They just need to happen regularly enough to keep you from burning out.

Try one of these each week:

• Go somewhere new, even if it’s just a different coffee shop
• Clean out one drawer or surface (stress-free zone = peace)
• Write down what’s been bothering you and trash it
• Catch up with someone who makes you laugh

And once a month...

• Think back on what’s been working
• Re-adjust what’s not
• Reward yourself (yes, on purpose)

I know I harp on this a lot, but I have to make this super clear. Self-care doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. You’re 100% allowed to change your routine when it stops working.

Feeling better takes time, but the little habits really do add up. And you don’t need to earn it. That whole idea that your worth comes from productivity is completely outdated. I don’t even know who started that!

Your well-being takes priority, end of story. That’s reason enough to take care of yourself.